Ask Me How I Got Here

Starred review from February 8, 2016
In concise, passionate poems set over several months, Addie, a sophomore and cross-country runner at Immaculate Heart Academy, narrates the turbulent journey that begins with her crush on a student named Nick, includes her unplanned pregnancy and subsequent abortion, and examines the feelings that subsequently engulf her. While Heppermann used fairy tale elements to heighten the experiences of contemporary girlhood in Poisoned Apples, Addie’s poems do so through evocative religious imagery: “Sunday Morning” describes lovemaking (“His mouth a skittish liturgy/ along my neck,/ my need a holy ache,/ a blessing”) while “Mercy” offers her parents’ and boyfriend’s understanding response to her news (“Nick comes over. My/ parents go out, come home later/ with mint chip ice cream”). The Virgin Mary figures in many poems, giving voice to Addie’s frustrations and questions: “She never had to listen/ to excuses from Joseph/ about how he meant/ to bring protection” and “Maybe she had a favorite song,/ a mole on her chin, a secret dream/ that, after a while, not even she/ remembered.” Heppermann’s discerning and incisive verse elegantly conveys the heightened sensitivity and multilayered complexity of Addie’s emotions. Ages 14–up. Agent: Tina Wexler, ICM.

March 1, 2016
Can a good Catholic girl be pro-choice? Addie Solokowski, a white sophomore at the all-girl Immaculate Heart Academy, fits the modern-Catholic-schoolgirl trope: indifferent to school; a top track athlete; and dates Craig, who attends brother school St. Luke's, drinks too much, and plays in a band. She easily turns to his best friend and band mate, Nick, who confesses, after a mutual kiss, Craig has cheated on her. Addie and Nick are enjoying a deeply supportive, sex-positive, and erotic (though nascent) relationship when, due to unprotected sex, Addie becomes pregnant. Confident that the God of her faith will "let me / make my own choices," she has an abortion. Though Addie struggles with her decision afterward, she remains solid in the fact that she made the right one, even as her relationships with Nick, her longtime friend and track teammate Claire, and running itself shift, and she begins a romance with an Immaculate Heart alumna named Juliana. Heppermann's poetry floats readers through what could have easily turned into a didactic tome on religion versus abortion. But where readers land seems at best strange, with the sudden I-kissed-a-girl switch. Abortion is a life-altering choice, but this book doesn't go there. (Verse fiction. 14-18)

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Starred review from March 1, 2016

Gr 10 Up-Addie is a good student and the star of the cross-country team at her private Catholic school. When she discovers that she is pregnant, she gets an abortion with the support of her boyfriend and parents. Afterward, she struggles with what the pregnancy and her decision mean, both to her self-perception and those around her, leading Addie to discover more surprising things about herself. The spare yet meaningful verse shines, while the poems ascribed to Addie herself are particularly poignant. The narrative focuses on Addie's emotional journey while deftly avoiding the tired tropes of typical pregnant teen stories. This is not a story about making the decision to have an abortion but rather one about accepting how decisions shape who we are, for better or for worse. The only readers disappointed will be those looking for a black-and-white pronouncement about abortion and its consequences. Teens mature enough to appreciate Heppermann's subtlety will welcome this fresh, relatable novel that is bold enough to venture into relatively unexplored territory. VERDICT This standout of both craft and theme is recommended for high school and public libraries.-Elizabeth Saxton, Tiffin, OH

Copyright 2016 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

April 15, 2016
Grades 9-12 Addie has got a great boyfriend, a fantastic cross-country record at her all-girls Catholic high school, and a powerful talent for poetry. When she gets pregnant, she doesn't face terrible strife: her parents are supportive, her boyfriend isn't angry, and it's over in a flash. But in the aftermath, she finds herself reevaluating many of her choices, especially track, and, surprisingly, deeply drawn to a track-star alumna who is taking a break from both running and college. Addie keeps the abortion close to her chest, pouring her ruminations into her poems, which consider guilt, Catholicism, and, in particular, her connection to the Virgin Mary. Heppermann's free-verse poems glide over many of the stickier parts, pausing meaningfully to focus on Addie's emotions, which are brought into sharpest relief in the presence of a bullish antiabortion classmate. While her abortion is a catalyzing event, ultimately this thought-provoking novel in verse is more about well-rounded Addie's gratifying process of self-determination than her choice to end her pregnancy. This absorbing book would be an excellent choice for teen book groups.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)

July 1, 2016
Catholic-school sophomore Addie loves running cross-country, writing poetry, and having sex with her boyfriend. Then Addie gets pregnant. Her choice to have an abortion, although significant, is just one of many in her larger coming-of-age story. Addie muses on morality, religion, and sexuality; her observations are thought-provoking, wry, and bitingly smart. Addie easily outshines the "issues" in this remarkable verse novel.

(Copyright 2016 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

Starred review from May 1, 2016
Catholic-school sophomore Addie loves running cross-country, writing poetry, and having sex with her thoughtful, artsy new boyfriend, Nick. Then Addie gets pregnant. Her decision to have an abortion is unwavering, and she has the support of Nick and her parents. Heppermann explores the aftermath of Addie's decision with striking sensitivity and candor. Addie's choice, although significant, is just one of many in her larger coming-of-age story: she quits the cross-country team, grows ambivalent toward Nick, and enters a romantically charged friendship with fellow runner Juliana. Addie narrates in forthright, occasionally cheeky free verse: from "What Choice Do I Have?": "Fling myself out the window? / (The screen is jammed.) / Run off and join the Marines? / (I look bad in hats). / Hope the Earth explodes in the next ten seconds? / (One Mississippi, Two Mississippi / Damn)." Her struggles, though, are real and never downplayed -- and neither, thankfully, are they histrionic. In interspersed poems presented in a hand-lettered typeface, Addie muses on morality, religion, and sexuality (for instance, expressing strong feelings about how young women, whether they are sexually active or the Virgin Mary, are so readily "reduced to a womb"); her observations are thought-provoking, wry, and bitingly smart. With her vibrant voice and rich characterization, Addie easily outshines the "issues" in this remarkable verse novel. jessica tackett macdonald

(Copyright 2016 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

May 1, 2016
Catholic-school sophomore Addie loves running cross-country, writing poetry, and having sex with her thoughtful, artsy new boyfriend, Nick. Then Addie gets pregnant. Her decision to have an abortion is unwavering, and she has the support of Nick and her parents. Heppermann explores the aftermath of Addie's decision with striking sensitivity and candor. Addie's choice, although significant, is just one of many in her larger coming-of-age story: she quits the cross-country team, grows ambivalent toward Nick, and enters a romantically charged friendship with fellow runner Juliana. Addie narrates in forthright, occasionally cheeky free verse: from "What Choice Do I Have?": "Fling myself out the window? / (The screen is jammed.) / Run off and join the Marines? / (I look bad in hats). / Hope the Earth explodes in the next ten seconds? / (One Mississippi, Two Mississippi / Damn)." Her struggles, though, are real and never downplayed -- and neither, thankfully, are they histrionic. In interspersed poems presented in a hand-lettered typeface, Addie muses on morality, religion, and sexuality (for instance, expressing strong feelings about how young women, whether they are sexually active or the Virgin Mary, are so readily "reduced to a womb"); her observations are thought-provoking, wry, and bitingly smart. With her vibrant voice and rich characterization, Addie easily outshines the "issues" in this remarkable verse novel. jessica tackett macdonald

(Copyright 2016 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)