June 1, 2021
This memoir and call to action centers on what it means to be a parent, when being a parent conflicts with your identity and sense of self. When Belc, who is nonbinary and transmasculine, finds out that he's pregnant, he struggles deeply with his body and the reality of creating life. Belc's experiences illuminate how female-centric our understanding of pregnancy is, and how that gendered perspective shapes the medical systems and legal processes individuals must go through during pregnancy and parenthood. The U.S. medical and legal systems are not designed to meet the needs of nonbinary parenthood; through detailed legal records and reflections on his experiences working with the state, Belc demonstrates why the system must be reformed. This memoir is driven by Belc's distinctive voice and worldview; it's reflexive and extremely blunt. At times, his stream-of-consciousness style can be disorienting--but then, discovering, navigating, rediscovering, and renegotiating yourself and your place in a world that wasn't built for you is also disorienting. VERDICT A wholly unique memoir that will speak to readers navigating nonbinary parenthood, as well as those who seek to understand the limitations of the U.S. legal system when it comes to nonbinary and trans parenthood.--Siobhan Egan, Barrington P.L., RI
Copyright 2021 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
Starred review from April 15, 2021
A powerful memoir in essays about the author's experiences with nonbinary parenthood. Though the literature on parenthood is boundless, books on nonbinary parenthood are scarce. In his debut, Belc explores the universal emotions of ambivalence, joy, and occasional dread while simultaneously braiding in threads of his gender expression, partnership, and youth. Arranged in patchwork fashion (several essays were previously published), this intimate tapestry of a family includes numerous anecdotes about many of Belc's formative moments and experiences, including his early years as a girl in Rockaway Beach participating in Irish dance and playing whiffle ball with siblings. "I love my brothers," writes the author of those times, "but I am mad they got to be boys." Among other strands, Belc discusses his complex relationship with his father ("I always thought my father wished I was a boy, but by the time I was it was too late"), the history of breasts, and his bewilderment when the adoption papers for he and his partner's son listed him as "the natural mother of the child," a phrase that "made me cringe. It made me rage. My relationship with Samson could be natural without my having to stand up in court and say I was a mother." Belc smoothly weaves in scientific and social research, even if the timeline isn't always easy to follow. But such is life: abstract, nonlinear, unable to be forced into tidy compartments. At times, the use of third person is excessive, a literary garnish to a story that is already rich in content. Nonetheless, Belc develops a candid, gritty, tender story that should garner empathy and understanding regardless of a reader's background. In this multilayered narrative, augmented with black-and-white photos, the author successfully holds readers' attention all the way through the last poignant line. With vivid rawness, Belc paints an impressionist mural of what it means to be a parent while also birthing his true self.
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