Learning to Love Midlife

October 9, 2023
Conley (Wisdom at Work), cofounder of the Modern Elder Academy, a “midlife wisdom school,” celebrates in this sage outing the joys of midlife, a period with a “colossal branding problem.” According to the author, the life stage between ages 35 and 75 is similar to a chrysalis—“a bit dark, gooey, and solitary” but potentially transformative as one looks inward, takes stock of the “mindsets, identities... and choices” they’ve accumulated, sheds what no longer fits, and prepares “to butterfly” into a truer version of themselves. Conley explains that while healthy aging “requires us to move our bodies,” it’s also a chance to abandon the “short-term vanity” that often locks people into an obsessive pursuit of physical perfection in their earlier years. Elsewhere, he details how developing “a discernment for what matters” can help former people pleasers separate what they value from what they don’t. (He urges readers to ask themselves, “Over the course of my life, how important is this?”) While Conley sometimes hits his message a bit too hard (“For many of us, life begins at 50. Before that, life is just a dress rehearsal”), his astute and well-informed insights are sure to uplift. It’s a welcome corrective to ageism.

October 15, 2023
Life after 40 is "a rich time for introspection, a journey through stillness into freedom," according to this engaging, conversational guide. In a youth-oriented culture like the U.S., the midlife period is often seen as "one endless sand trap on the golf course of life." But it doesn't have to be like that, writes Conley, co-founder of the Modern Elder Academy and author of numerous business and self-help books. Midlife, which he defines as the 40-65 age bracket, can be a time when life is reconsidered and reorganized. The key is to make a conscious decision about what sort of future you want, including what the author calls "the Great Midlife Edit." This means letting go of mindsets and obligations that have outstayed their welcome. For some people, it can be a change of career or lifestyle, perhaps stepping off the 9-to-5 treadmill and finding a new use for hard-won experience; Conley cites statistics indicating that half of American start-up entrepreneurs are over 55. True, after 40, wrinkles start to appear and hairlines begin to recede. Accept it and become comfortable in your skin, advises Conley, although he also offers advice on maintaining overall health. Staying active is the best medicine. The connection between mental condition and physical capability increases in midlife, and people with strong relationships, religious faith, and a willingness to try new things live longer, healthier lives. Don't be afraid to seek new challenges and experiences; the author notes that his father took up scuba diving at 60. "Midlife is the time to rediscover our love of old movies, jazz music, impressionist painters, and anything else that makes life worth living," he writes. Later, he continues, "Aging is a privilege, a gift of time." Conley's enthusiasm for grasping the full potential of the midlife years is contagious and inspiring.

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